Climbing Mt Everest, that's easy.
60“Mick, have you ever fancied climbin’ Mt Everest?”
“What would I want to do a stupid, reckless thing like that for Joe?”
“Well, you know that gorgeous new barmaid, the one with the”
“Sparkling blue eyes?”
“Yes Mick, well just imagine how impressed she’d be if she found out that you’d got the gumption to climb one of the highest mountains in the world.”
“It happens to be ‘the’ highest mountain in the world Joe, but I can’t really put that theory to the test can I? Considering that the only thing I’ve climbed lately is into bed pie-eyed every night.”
“I know Mick, but you could ‘say’ you’d climbed Mt Everest, couldn’t you? Because women love reckless adventurous men.”
“Do they now? Well if I could work out what women wanted I’d be escortin’ that gorgeous new barmaid to some posh restaurant instead of bein’ sat next to you on a Saturday night.
Anyway, I’ve tried bein’ reckless; whim pish, articulate, stupid, serious, frivolous, romantic, unromantic, soft natured, hard nosed, silly, sensible, strong, (but silent), weak, (but talkative) and down right crazy, but the whole lot has got me precisely nowhere”
“Well you have to be all of them things rolled in to one, plus a bit more to attract a woman Mick, even I know that.”
“Ok then Homer what do you suggest I should do? Go up to the bar and say, “excuse me love, could I have two pints of Saxon’s mild ale and you’d better give me twelve bags of salted peanuts on account of me being starvin’ after scalin’ Mt Everest this mornin’.”
“No yer great apeth, you have to think laterally and be a bit more subtle about it, like sendin’ me up to speak on your behalf.”
“Yes that would be subtle, but funnily enough I hadn’t thought of it.”
“That’s because you’re not an ideas man like me.”
“Well I was ten minutes before you got here matey, when I went up to that new barmaid, (whose name happens to be Lucy and is studyin’ psychology at Birmingham University), and got chattin’ to her about this and that, where amazin’ly, me clamberin’ up Mt Everest happened to crop up in the conversation. So I added, ‘Have you ever been to Katmandu’? and she said, ‘no, but you’ve just arrived at no-can-do.’
That’s why if I had a choice about which one to try to conquer, I’d either be hirin’ a team of Sherpas’, or scoutin’ around for a twenty–nine thousand foot long ladder.”
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I think I met miss no-can-do and her sister. Good stuff attempted.
I have the name of a good Sherpa if you are still in the market...I would advise hiring several so that they can carry the 29,000 foot ladder. That said...excellent work here my friend.
Those ladies are indeed an enigma...we have a little hill around these parts called 'drunk hill' (due to all the accidents from...you know...drunks). Well...not to toot my own horn...I climbed a good third of it one day...do me a favor mate...let Lucy know...
What a great conversation. I Think perhaps i have met this guy when I was young and gorgeous. But he had just come from saving a stranded whale on the California coast. I keep telling you to change your name. You are not attempting humor, but succeeding at it!
Whenever I need a good, old, therapeutic chuckle, I just visit your site!
I'd love to come to Oz someday and have a cold Fosters with my Aussie cousin, Keith
Wow I am never the first to make a comment, usually late.
You have done it again, made my day start witk laughter. “No yer great apeth" reminded me so much of my Nan.
Loved this one, good luck in finding that ladder.
Funny Keith! Great aperth indeed - haven't heard that expression since my granddad!
Chris
Here's my favorite Mt. Everest joke to add to your collection, Keith. Question: What did Bruce Willis find on top of Mt. Everest? Answer: Icy dead people!
Do I hear you groaning?
I really entertained reading this hub. Nice story brother. Thanks for writing and share with us. Well done, vote up and have a nice weekend!
Prasetio
Hi Flora, climbing any mountain is worthwhile for the exercise, sense of achievement and view from the top. I'll have to check katmandu out. Cheers
Hi mcb's i met plenty of miss no-can-dos' in my heyday, a few maybes' and the odd let's do its'. Cheers
Hi TS you've got me tensing, wondering who that Sherpa might be. You need to do more than climb a mountain to impress Lucy. I'll put in a good word though next time I'm in the pub.
Hello Hyphen, I wish I'd have thought of saving a whale, I'll jot it down though for the retirement home.
Hi Will, you book the ticket and the food accommodation, hospitality, beer and tour itinerary will be laid out.
Hi Rosemay, most of my writing comes from my time living in England, where that language was ingrained.
Hi Chris, I dredged that one up from the memory bank.
Hi drbj, I love those silly jokes. I'm laughing not groaning.
Hi Pras, I've been away renovating since thursday night and just got back sunday afternoon, so the weekend was busy. Thanks all.
Well attemptedhumour, You gave me a good laugh this morning. I'm glad I read your Hubpage early because it's good to start the day off laughing! Thanks! :)
Hi Samia, someone's got to shake those cobwebs out and get you moving. Cheers
I think me and Mick think alike, Mate! WB
Me you Mick Joe and half the population of the world. Cheers buddy.
I climbed Mt. Washington in a Van...Scary Experience, but Fun at the Top, as was this Hub of yours Attemptedhumour.
Hello B I drove up to the top of a mountain in Tasmania, which was much quicker than climbing it. I've had a hectic week so i've not had much time to log on. Cheers though.
Another great chapter in the life of Mick and Joe....it sounds like they have read and tried every chapter in the book when it comes to meeting women....I love the no-can-do line...classic line in a classic hub...voted way up and funny....great job as usual.
There's a reason why Mick and Joe are stuck in that smoky pub every night, maybe they should try the gym instead. Or the movie theatre. Cheers Mr C.
Lol, Attemptedhumour. You know I think you ought to get rid of that 'attempted' at the front of your pen-name, replace it with something like exceeding or much, or maybe bloody' marvellous! LF x
Hi LF, you're bias, because you're obviously as daft as I am. It's the sane people I have to convince first before I start celebrating. I appreciate your support though, or I wouldn't have a reason to write this nonsense. Cheers.
I'm glad that I read this today Keith. It gave me a great laugh, especially the joke about "no can do".
It reminds me of a true story about some Watford builders winding up a Canadian engineer, but I cant tell that one publicly.
Cheers.
Chris.
Hi Chris I'll have to fill in the blanks myself then about the engineer. Or you could fan mail it me. Cheers
lol @ she said, ‘no, but you’ve just arrived at no-can-do.’Very funny hub:) Thanks
Hi Phoenix, I remember one of my mates suddenly telling a young lady that he was running away from his father, who was an industrial magnate. I knew he was lying, the young lady knew he was lying, but we all enjoyed his drunken journey, until he confessed about the truth. It's an immature male thing. Thanks for calling.
HAH!! This was hilarious, AH. I can imagine two blokes in a place very similiar to the one in "Crocodile Dundee" sipping a cold Fosters. One has a couple teeth missing, and the other walks with a limp from being bitten by a croc.
By the way, I've not been to Katmandu, but I've surely visited Know-Can-Do dozens of times. Well done, mate, and voted up as such!! :)TR
Hi Thomas, the stories involving Mick and Joe come from my youth in England where I try to recreate what I and my mates would have talked about. Using these two characters is a novel way of writing about something. Why don't you try it with two American dudes just as an exercise?
FloraBreenRobison 7 months ago
I've climbed Elk Mountain-don't ask me why, but I did.
Speaking of Katmandu, I haven't heard much of Vinaya lately. He hasn't been posting on many hubs, just a couple in the last few days.